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blog/ideasUs, emotions and the oil spill.
I haven’t been a regression therapist for so long but I’ve been a mother long enough to know that bad emotion can’t be beaten by other bad emotion.
Good therapeutic results depend on the degree of understanding and forgiveness that our client is willing to engage in. In the sessions we lead the client “by hand” to get to this point on their own pace and will. The sessions go: He’s done something terrible to me. He had his reasons and I understand them now. Based on my deep understanding I feel for this bastard. Say sorry than, you monster! Time for an extra help. Ok let’s shake hands now. The client is better, relationships improve all setting changes.
I look at kids the way they pick up emotions and thoughts of the environment they live, blending in the good and bad guy patterns. And yet there still seem to be a lot more will to feel for the bad guy who bruised me. His dad is a drunk and mum is gone. Mum can we do something for him? Kids know.
Trying to scare the fear to go away- doesn’t work. Being furious at greed doesn’t help. Being upset at an upset child doesn’t make a difference. Catching up the genocide murderer and hang him doesn’t make the world a better place. All is just generating more of the same. Blame on blame, arguments against arguments, You can see it, we are driving ourselves mad. The world is not a better place despite of our well guarded pride and our conditions to others.
The regression therapy with the “bad guy responsible” would be like this: … Us: You murdered wildlife! I hate you! BGR: I know, I didn’t mean to kill the pelicans. Us: So why did you do that? BGR: I didn’t it just happened. Us: So you mean you don’t feel responsible? BGR: Absolutely not. I a) was just doing what I was told b) just wanted to give my children a good life c) needed more money to pay my employees d) was not sure of what I was doing, being under all this stress e) It could happen to anybody else Us: I’m so angry at you! Therapist: ok BGR what is your feeling about what needs to be done now? BGR: I want to say sorry to the pelicans and dolphins I really didn’t mean to hurt them. Therapist: Pelicans and dolphins is there anything you’d like to say? Pelicans and dolphins: Yeah, we know, you’re sometimes really stupid people, you know, you just thoughtlessly follow emotions that lead to disasters. You do it every day. Never stop to look around, further than yourself. Therapist: Thank you pelicans and dolphins. Is there anything you’d like to say to Us? Pelicans and dolphins: Obviously. It had to be us to show that you can also feel compassion. Us: Compassion? What’s that? Therapist: Can you explain it please so we can better understand. Pelicans and dolphins: You go, you drill, you want to give your kids what you call a better life-in plastic, you want more plastic, more and more. Your greed is unstoppable, you don’t consider, you don’t share you want more and more. Your kids are fed, educated, you drive your cars, use plastic every day. You long forgot what you are doing, even why you have these kids. Your heart is forgotten under the layers of plastic, feelings of despair. We are the picture of your hearts not even flapping in the thick oil. Yes you Us and you BGR, you are no different from each other. Compassion is a feeling, close to love, you see. That stuff that shakes you inside, the emotion that puts tears in your eyes and makes you heart alive. BGR: oh yes I remember it when my kids were born! Boy I was weeping like a crocodile! It was so beautiful! That was compassion? Pelicans and dolphins: Well BGR it was more. It was love, pure love. Your heart leaps with joy and you cry. That’s love, no conditions. Us: well yes, we… know it too. Gee but what’s the point? Pelicans and dolphins: The point is to feel this. Therapist: Thank you pelicans and dolphins. Us, just go now to the time when you felt this emotion…on three. One, two, and … three. And in your time tell me what’s happening. Us: ah yes, once at Christmas. It’ s at a school performance, our kids are doing the topic on environment, singing and dancing. The little one’s hopping there on the stage so cute, dressed like a pinquin! She’s singing will all others. She’s got a bit of cold and her nose is runny and she doesn’t care, it looks so funny, and at the same time so… wow… I don’t really understand the words they are singing, but it feels like we are all together with the other parents… I don’t know how to describe it… and I’m just crying, haha! Therapist: Just take this feeling in. Tak a deep breat in, breath it all in, deep breathing and fill yourself with this feeling as you are breathing in. Just take it all in now. Let me know when you are completely full with it. Us: yes Therpist: how are you feeling now? Us: good, lighter, haha. Therapist: Ok let’s talk to the BGR. Is there anything you want to tell him? Us: yeah, you know, I see now we all love our kids. I bet you go to the zoo with them. BGR: they are all grown up now. Us: Ok BGR listen I understand now. I also (a,b,c,d,e, as above). BGR: Glad you got the point. Us: But the disaster is still going on, you know… BGR: I know. I don’t know what to do with it any more. Therapist: Let’s ask for advice someone who might know. Pelicans and dolphins, do you have any suggestion? Pelicans and dolphins: Well as far as us, we are finished with you people on Earth. We’ve done our best to open up in you the sense of compassion. Together with millions of other animals we’ve been trying to do this, in different ways, by accompanying you, serving you ever since… Somewhere in your greed for more you forgot about us. There is no more place for us with you people. In your sophisticated minds you won’t find the way to fix anything. It’s your heart, intuition but you can only hear these when stop the noise of your constant anger. And that you can do. Therapist: Thank you pelicans and dolphins. Anybody wants to say anything? Us: maybe … we can do this together? … Kids maintain the ability and will to make the world a better place. Feeling for others is a part of them until they grow and if we cut them from it with our conditions. They understand love on much deeper level. They exist beyond reasoning, beyond words. Their relationship with animals is one of joy, it’s natural to them. They feel that the angry kid needs a hug to calm down and don't understand why his mother is shouting at him instead. It’s just Us who forgot what to do with love. |